The sun sets on seven years

There I was, sitting peacefully on a rock...enjoying the calm beauty of it all...
Just days before my world was turned upside down.

Look what I just found....self confidence!

My children's father just told me that I was the greatest ex-wife a guy could ever ask for. I had to laugh out loud. The timing of his smart-ass compliment was so very perfect. I'm thinking that maybe I should put it on my resume.

Anybody Home?

Awww. Look at the poor, neglected little blog. Guess I should feed you.






It's not that there hasn't been stuff to say, I think that it's just been said in other forums. So, What's been going on the last couple of months?

I've been working more. Hubby finished his second semester of school and has spent a lot of time looking for a summer co-op position in his field. Unfortunately, with the economy and all, there is nothing out there. Yesterday, he started his first day at a hotel in the Falls. Not something he's ever thought of doing - but hey, it's a job.

The kids have been busy with school events and trips. You can tell that they're teenagers now, because when they walk in the front door of the house, they each go to their own rooms and close their doors. They will come out for dinner and then return to their rooms. When they come to me for conversation, it usually starts with; "Mom, I NEED ____". Don't get me wrong, they're all good kids. They just value their privacy, Independence and friends much more now. My role as a mother seems to be changing. It's normal. Not easy, but completely normal.

There was a bit of drama a couple of weeks ago when my son had a gun pointed at him by a man who threatened to kill him and his friends. I don't want to go into details, because I'm all talked out on the subject. But the thought that I could have lost him that day haunts me. It frightens me to send my kids out each day into this big bad world. I thank God every day for their safe return home. Even if they do spend their time here behind closed doors.

As for the exes: The she-ex and I just avoid each other. Things are better that way. The he-ex has a new girlfriend. She's about 4 years older than our son. My daughter thinks she's "awesome!" Enough said.

I'm trying to get back to church. I went two weeks ago and guilted my husband and son into going with me. I'll go again this weekend. I really feel like it's something I need to do. If I have to go alone, so be it.

These are the things that have been going on in my life, and the thoughts that have been rolling around in my head since I last checked in. Not sure when I'll be back.

An Ah Ha Moment

Yesterday at the grocery store, I witnessed a moment between a mother and son. The mom, in her sweatpants, her hair tied up on her head. She'd obviously just spent the day running around, being a mom. The boy, about 4 or 5 years old. Wiggling around, touching everything he could, talking non-stop about the wonders of the grocery store. And then, it happened.

The boy looked up at his mom and said so matter-of-factly, "You look so beautiful right now."

It warmed my heart. The sweetness of it all. He was right. She was beautiful.
And then came her response.

"No I don't", she said with an embarrassed laugh.

And that was that. The boy went on zooming his little shopping cart around, wondering aloud what was upstairs and why they needed to buy so many bags of groceries. The mom mumbled something to me about how her son saw a lady wearing silver boots and he must have been talking about them being beautiful. And I wondered why she was so uncomfortable and felt the need to apologize for her son's compliment. No, she hadn't put much effort into her grocery store "look". But she WAS still very beautiful. She was pretty on the outside and had a sweet smile. Her eyes were blue and full of light. I could tell from her eyes that she was beautiful on the inside too.

And then they were gone. But the moment stayed with me.

The great thing about kids is that they say exactly what they think. They have no filter. They tell it like they see it. And they tell the truth.

The thing about women, is that we are so very hard on ourselves. Her response to her son's compliment wasn't uncommon. I know I've responded the very same way in the past when others have complimented me.

What made me sad was that with three little words she had told her son that he was wrong and that she wasn't beautiful. And I wondered if he'd ever say it again.

I hope he will continue to tell his mother that she's beautiful. I hope he will tell his future wife the same. I hope that they will respond with a "Thank you".

Sign Me up for Bungee Jumping

Well, the optimism of the first part of this year has faded into restlessness. I'm frustrated and itching for something - but I don't know what. Maybe it's that I've been sick for the last 3 weeks or more. I'm feeling claustrophobic, confined. I just want to break out, break free. Maybe winter has just gone on long enough. I need a good cry. Actually, I think I need a good fight! But Hubby won't fight with me. He just walks away. Do you know how aggravating that is?

I don't even know how to end this post. So, let's just say it's done.
Wanna fight about it?

Restless in the Garden City.

Weekends

One week ago, I was here:

This weekend I'm at home. My BIL and his girlfriend are both here for the weekend. As much as they are wonderful people and I love them both...I can only take them in small doses. The gf leaves the bathroom door open when she uses the toilet and/or bathtub. They are constantly yelling at each other. And someone shit on my bathroom floor in front of the sink last night. I know it wasn't one of the kids. There is also a mysterious stain on my couch. I would make a terrible nurse.

I'm off to a bridal shower today. Friends of ours got married in Vegas last week. They've been living together for years and have a home. I'm not sure what to get for her. Her sister says to get gift cards. It just seems wrong to me to give a gift card at a shower. How boring is that? So, I'm off to shop. Not sure what I'm looking for. Hope I find it.

Super Dad 1 Kids 0

Friday. 4 p.m. My son places a call to find out when his dad will pick him and his sister up for the weekend. Grandma informs him that dad is in Florida. Hmm.